ZAEBCASINO

Fake coins · no cashier · nothing to win

← out to the lobby

Progressive Mega Zaebpot

9 420 694

PLEASE DO NOT SHAKE THE CABINET

SHITSTORM

C-1147Player 184% luckyREADY

Credit

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Win

0

good luck · press the thing

100 ZAEB a spin · costs €0.00

The floor is not paying attention to you

The floor · 4 cabinets

Other rooms

THE BAZAAREverything is for sale. Nothing has a price. Both of those are lies.Level 3 · past the buffet →

Elsewhere in the building

The rest of the casino
Lines
5
Zaebonus
×12
Max win
The zaebpot
Paytable · SHITSTORM

100 buys 5 lines at 20 each. Three of a kind pays left to right; the wild stands in for anything except ZAEB.

  • The classic80
  • Business duck140
  • Regret frog220
  • Potato320
  • Stone guy600
  • Your plans1 400
  • Wild aubergine2 800
  • The throne900
ZAEB ×3 anywhere — zaebonus
1 200
Centre row of the jackpot symbol
The whole zaebpot
Cash value of any of it
Nil

On the floor today

Creatures · 0/20

What has been in here

common

  • ???Lose one.
  • ???Three of something.
  • ???Win something small.
  • ???It gets in on its own.
  • ???Somewhere corporate.
  • ???Common as anything.

rare

  • ???Ask a Canadian machine nicely.
  • ???Win properly.
  • ???Stay a while.
  • ???Circle back later.
  • ???Keep going. And going.

epic

  • ???A big one, up north.
  • ???Hit zero.
  • ???Stake the lot.
  • ???Make it misbehave.

legendary

  • ???Take the whole thing.
  • ???Win an obscene multiple.

cursed

  • ???No information is available.
  • ???No information is available.
  • ???No information is available.

Completing the set does nothing. There is no prize, no bonus and no ending — the creatures are simply things that were in here, and now they are on a list.

Achievements · 0/19

What has been earned
  • Welcome To The BuildingPressed the button once. The rest was never necessary.
  • A Real Number About A Fake CurrencyA hundred spins in.
  • You Have Been Here A WhileTwo hours in the same room, voluntarily.
  • The One You'll MentionTen thousand ZAEB, in a single spin, that spends nowhere.
  • Took The Whole ThingThe pot went. Nothing was won, because none of it was real.
  • Saw The ScatterThree of the brand turned up on the same spin.
  • Staked The LotBet everything you had. On purpose.
  • This Was Always FreeTook the zaebailout. It never runs out, which is the whole point.
  • The House Stopped AskingFive bailouts. Nobody at this machine is surprised anymore.
  • The Long Dry SpellFifty spins in a row that paid nothing at all.
  • Numbers That Mean Nothing To AnyoneStaked ten thousand ZAEB on a single spin.
  • ×100 On Coins That Aren't RealTurned one stake into a hundred times itself.
  • Half A ShelfFound half of everything that has ever been in here.
  • Everything That Has Ever Been In HereFound all of it. There is no prize. There was never going to be one.
  • ???No information is available.
  • ???No information is available.
  • ???No information is available.
  • ???No information is available.
  • ???No information is available.

None of these do anything either. That was never going to change.

Recent damage

Nothing yet. The machine is waiting, patiently, forever.

Your permanent record

Biggest single win

—ZAEB

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Spins pulled
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Spins that paid
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Luck
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Best multiple
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ZAEBCOINS won
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ZAEBCOINS fed in
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Net, fictionally
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Biggest stake
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Worst losing run
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Zaebpots
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Zaebonuses
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Times all in
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The number
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Zaebailouts taken
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Creatures
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Rarest thing seen
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Life spent here
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Money lost in real life€0.00

House rules

  • There is no cashier. There is no cashier desk. There is no cashier.
  • ZAEBCOINS cannot be bought, sold, deposited, withdrawn, traded, mined, staked or exchanged, and they have no cash value in any country.
  • The HOT lamp, the floor announcements and the people winning on floor 7 are all invented. So is floor 7.
  • Run out and the house tops you back up, free, forever. That is not generosity — it is that none of it was worth anything to begin with.
  • Your balance lives in this browser. Clearing your site data destroys it instantly, at a cost to you of €0.00.
  • Nothing here is gambling, because nothing here can be lost.